Go ahead. Laugh. It most certainly is allowed. Maybe even required?
In recent days, we have chosen to laugh.
We were sitting in the waiting room of a plastic surgery practice. Of course, we weren't there for Botox (not that there's anything wrong with that) or a face lift (not that there's anything wrong with that) or a tummy tuck (not that there's anything...). Anyway, after noticing all the photographs on display of "perfect" celebrities, and after we'd seen the huge poster in the ladies room (ginormous tatas above a caption encouraging the reader to focus on their goals), we were called back for our appointment. The perky nurse came in with her list of medical questions (which we'd just answered on the eight pages of information we'd filled out during the half hour wait past our appointment time).
Then she asked, without warning, "What size would you like them to be?"
We laughed.
During the course of the previous five weeks, we've chosen to laugh.
During conversations with a well-meaning relatives and friends:
"Well, it may not be as bad as you think it will...but it might be a LOT worse"
"You're small, so it won't be so bad for you"
"I know EXACTLY how you feel"
Laugh.
Would you laugh with us?
It's perfectly okay if you don't know what to say....often, neither do we.
"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
You Can't Handle the Truth!
Remember that line from the movie “A Few Good Men?” Col. Jessup (Jack Nicholson) is testifying under oath, and responding to questions of Lt. Kaffee (Tom Cruise) as truth seems impossible to ascertain.
The reality of our present situation, seemingly magnified by the events of the previous twelve months, has left us wondering, can we handle the truth? Can we say it out loud? Post it on a blog?
The truth is, this really, really stinks. It’s ugly, scary, and disappointing. The month of October is “Breast Cancer Awareness” month. Ugh. We are aware. Very aware.
Decisions have been made and a surgery date is scheduled (first week of November). Reality is just beginning to sink in, and we suddenly find ourselves aware of a new set of questions.
Bitterness? Anxiety? Despair? Impatience?
Only when we are truly honest with ourselves will we then acknowledge these feelings, recognize these emotions, and begin to determine how best to move forward.
We choose kindness over bitterness.
We choose peace over anxiety.
We choose hope over despair.
We choose contentment over impatience.
Why? Because…
“…we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ… suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope…hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts.” Romans 5:1-5
“…to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us…hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4:7-9
truth? cancer
Truth? “…through all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” Romans 8:37
For the next couple of weeks, we will be completing preoperative appointments necessary for surgery, and wrapping up a few projects around the house. We are praying for the ability to give proper attention to all these details, yet not allow those details to overwhelm us.
Grace and Peace!
For the next couple of weeks, we will be completing preoperative appointments necessary for surgery, and wrapping up a few projects around the house. We are praying for the ability to give proper attention to all these details, yet not allow those details to overwhelm us.
Grace and Peace!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Decisions, Decisions
We wrapped up our last post with a scripture reference from the book of James. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously" (v.5a). Thank you for your prayers on our behalf. Although scripture doesn't address the details of breast reconstruction, God certainly can answer those prayers by supplying resources for information and education. If we choose to use those resources, and move forward with courage, we are able to make the difficult decisions, to answer those "multiple choice" questions that don't seem to have an acceptable answer.
Test results are in, and indicate that a mastectomy is not just prudent, but necessary. We mentally prepared ourselves for this two weeks ago when the diagnosis was made. The question remained, though, what about the other breast? It seems to be unaffected by disease. Do we remove just one, or both? A question with no easy answer. But answer you must, before you can go on to the next question(s). Dr. F would proceed with whichever choice was made, with no pressure to remove the healthy breast (prophylactic mastectomy). We have decided on bilateral mastectomy (removal of both breasts).
On to the next set of questions. These involve breast reconstruction. Latissimus muscle flap procedure? Transverse rectus abdominis muscle flap procedure? Implants? Expanders? Delayed reconstruction? No reconstruction? Because again, there is really no easy answer we moved forward prayerfully and carefully.
Graciously, God placed in our path five women who have already walked this road. Their willingness to talk openly and honestly about their choices contributed to our ability to see life past the surgery, and how living with their decisions looks today- months or years after their procedures were completed. Their testimonies, along with lots of written information, information from doctors, and, of course, prayer, enabled us to take the next step. We have decided on immediate reconstruction, with a direct to implant (one-step) breast reconstruction. (More information? read here: HERE)
Whew.
Are these choices "right" in every situation? Most certainly not. Would other choices be acceptable? Yes, most definitely. But these are the decisions that have been made, and we will move forward and not look back.
Surgery will most likely take place late in October, or possibly November. We continue to be humbled by your unselfish willingness to join us in this fight. Your prayers for continued peace and wisdom, as well as timing for the surgical procedures are very much appreciated.
Now, if I can get Judy (my sister) to write a post about our visit to the plastic surgeon, we can all laugh together for awhile...
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight". Proverbs 3:5-6
Test results are in, and indicate that a mastectomy is not just prudent, but necessary. We mentally prepared ourselves for this two weeks ago when the diagnosis was made. The question remained, though, what about the other breast? It seems to be unaffected by disease. Do we remove just one, or both? A question with no easy answer. But answer you must, before you can go on to the next question(s). Dr. F would proceed with whichever choice was made, with no pressure to remove the healthy breast (prophylactic mastectomy). We have decided on bilateral mastectomy (removal of both breasts).
On to the next set of questions. These involve breast reconstruction. Latissimus muscle flap procedure? Transverse rectus abdominis muscle flap procedure? Implants? Expanders? Delayed reconstruction? No reconstruction? Because again, there is really no easy answer we moved forward prayerfully and carefully.
Graciously, God placed in our path five women who have already walked this road. Their willingness to talk openly and honestly about their choices contributed to our ability to see life past the surgery, and how living with their decisions looks today- months or years after their procedures were completed. Their testimonies, along with lots of written information, information from doctors, and, of course, prayer, enabled us to take the next step. We have decided on immediate reconstruction, with a direct to implant (one-step) breast reconstruction. (More information? read here: HERE)
Whew.
Are these choices "right" in every situation? Most certainly not. Would other choices be acceptable? Yes, most definitely. But these are the decisions that have been made, and we will move forward and not look back.
Surgery will most likely take place late in October, or possibly November. We continue to be humbled by your unselfish willingness to join us in this fight. Your prayers for continued peace and wisdom, as well as timing for the surgical procedures are very much appreciated.
Now, if I can get Judy (my sister) to write a post about our visit to the plastic surgeon, we can all laugh together for awhile...
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight". Proverbs 3:5-6
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Praying for Wisdom
Wow, it's been an interesting few weeks, to say the least. Office visit to the specialist on a Monday, biopsy two days later. The following Monday receive the pathology report, then four days later at the Women's Center for MRI. Consultation with the Plastic Surgeon this past week. Next week, a follow-up with the Breast Specialist.
As many of you know, I have some experience with doctor visits, specialists, and disappointing test results. I walked alongside Alan for years while he bravely faced each challenge. Although he never had a cancer diagnosis, the loss of good health is less about the particular disease, and more about the uncertainty of the best possible health in the future. We want to know "What is the treatment?", "How long is the recovery?", "What are the expected results?", etc.
These are the questions for which we need answers. As we talk with Dr F next week, we need wisdom. These are questions with multiple choice answers, with no "wrong" answer. Answer A might initially give you a simpler procedure, but involve complicated procedures in the future. Answer B might be more difficult initially, but less complicated long term, with risks. Answer C....well, you get the idea.
We so appreciate your continued prayers on our behalf. Many are obviously praying for peace, this we know because we have peace. We need wisdom for decisions to be made in the next week.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." James 1:5-6
As many of you know, I have some experience with doctor visits, specialists, and disappointing test results. I walked alongside Alan for years while he bravely faced each challenge. Although he never had a cancer diagnosis, the loss of good health is less about the particular disease, and more about the uncertainty of the best possible health in the future. We want to know "What is the treatment?", "How long is the recovery?", "What are the expected results?", etc.
These are the questions for which we need answers. As we talk with Dr F next week, we need wisdom. These are questions with multiple choice answers, with no "wrong" answer. Answer A might initially give you a simpler procedure, but involve complicated procedures in the future. Answer B might be more difficult initially, but less complicated long term, with risks. Answer C....well, you get the idea.
We so appreciate your continued prayers on our behalf. Many are obviously praying for peace, this we know because we have peace. We need wisdom for decisions to be made in the next week.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." James 1:5-6
Friday, October 1, 2010
What's in a Name?
We've had some questions about names that are used in this blog. The blog name "Bent Race Cars" is an anagram for cancer. Word Girl, a.k.a. Alyson, came up with that one. Yabbo is a childhood nickname that Janet's dad bestowed on her.
"A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold." Proverbs 22:1
"A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold." Proverbs 22:1
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